Becoming Responsible Digital Citizens

Children in this age group are learning to socialise, game and communicate online more independently. A Family Tech Agreement helps establish trust while guiding young people toward safe, thoughtful online behaviour.

Why it is important

Pre-teens are developing identity and friendships online. Boundaries help protect them from risky content, cyberbullying and unhealthy habits while still allowing fun and connection.

What to discuss together

• Rules for when, where and how long tech can be used
• Expectations around respectful communication
• Agreements about group chats, games and sharing content
• Reminders to balance screen time with school, hobbies and rest

Revisit your agreement as your child matures. Independence can grow alongside responsibility.

Parental Controls and Privacy

Check that apps and games are right for your child’s age and maturity.

Review privacy settings together:

• Limit who can message or follow them
• Turn off location sharing and auto-tagging
• Keep cameras and microphones off when not needed
• Require permission for online purchases

Healthy Tech Use

Encourage self-awareness and balance:

• No screens during meals or before bed
• Regular breaks from gaming or social apps
• Mix online and offline friendships
• Talk about what they see online and how it makes them feel

If your child shows stress, mood changes or tiredness linked to screens, adjust habits together as support rather than punishment.

Remember

This stage is about building trust. Keep discussions open, let your child share their online experiences and model the kind of digital balance you hope to see in them.

Family Tech Agreement & Pledges

For Pre-Teens aged 9–12

I, ______________________________________________________________, agree to:

Be Safe

• I will only use apps, games, and websites that my parents or a trusted adult say are okay.
• I won’t talk or message with people I don’t know in real life.
• I will keep my personal details private — my full name, school, phone number, address, and location.
• I will ask before sharing photos or videos of myself, friends, or family.
• I won’t set up new accounts without checking first with a parent or trusted adult.
• If something online makes me feel uncomfortable, confused, or upset, I will tell a parent or a trusted adult.
• I will tell the truth online and never pretend to be someone else.

Be Respectful

• I will use kind words and include others in games or chats.
• I will share with care — nothing that could hurt or embarrass someone.
• I will speak up or get help if I witness bullying.
• I will respect my family’s rules about when and where screens can be used.

Be Responsible

• I will switch off screens about an hour before bedtime so I can sleep well.
• I will enjoy activities that don’t need screens — like sport, reading, art, or being outside.
• I will take care of my devices.
• I will keep my passwords private and only share them with a parent or trusted adult.
• I know being online comes with responsibilities and consequences.
• As I get older and use technology wisely, I can earn more independence.

▢ Before I post, comment, or share, I will think: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it safe?

Screen Time Limits

My screen time for fun (not schoolwork) is:

• Weekdays: ______ hours each day
• Weekends: ______ hours each day

If I Make a Mistake (Restorative Steps)

Sometimes I might make a choice online that breaks our pledge. When that happens, my family and I will:

1. Talk about what happened.
We’ll stay calm and listen to each other. I’ll have a chance to explain what I was thinking or feeling, and my parent or carer will help me understand what went wrong and why it matters.

2. Think about who was affected.
Together, we’ll talk about how my actions may have affected me, my family, friends, or others online.

3. Make things right.
We’ll decide how I can fix or repair the situation — for example, apologising, deleting or reporting content, or practising safer choices next time.

4. Plan for next time.
We’ll agree on what I can do differently if a similar situation happens again and update our family rules if needed.

5. Pause screen time (if needed).
If I need time to reflect, I may take a short break from devices while we work things out together. When I show that I understand what happened and can use technology responsibly, I can earn back my screen time.

I know that if I’m worried or have made a mistake online, I can always talk to my parents or a trusted adult and I won’t get into trouble just for being honest.

Signature

Pre-Teen: ______________________________________    Date: ____ / ____ / ____

Parent/Carer’s Pledge

I / We, ______________________________________________________________, agree to:

Keep My Child Safe Online

• I will help choose apps and platforms that are right for my child’s age.
• I will keep privacy and safety settings turned on.
• I will check in regularly about who my child interacts with online.
• I will report or block unsafe behaviour.

Support Healthy Online Habits

• I will help my child balance screen time with sleep, school, and other activities.
• I will respect our family’s tech-free rules to the best of my ability.
• I will model safe and responsible online behaviour.

Be Someone They Can Talk To

• I will trust that my child is capable of making safe, respectful, and responsible decisions.
• I will have regular check-ins with my child around this agreement.
• I will use the restorative steps if my child makes a mistake.
• I will show interest in the online games, apps, and communities my child enjoys.

Guide Online Independence

• I will check age ratings before allowing downloads or online games.
• I will help my child understand that what they post and say online becomes part of their digital reputation.
• I will encourage and model respectful communication online.
• I will support my child to make safe decisions as they grow.

Signatures

Parent/Carer: __________________________________    Date: ____ / ____ / ____

Parent/Carer: __________________________________    Date: ____ / ____ / ____