Introduce conversations about bodies, feelings and personal boundaries during the primary school years. Use clear, age-appropriate language and build on what your child already understands. Talking before changes occur gives children time to ask questions and helps make these topics a familiar part of family life.

Think of this as an ongoing conversation rather than one “big talk”. Begin with simple explanations and add detail as your child’s understanding develops. Revisit topics such as body changes, attraction, relationships and safe choices over time. Check what they have understood and leave space for questions without overwhelming them with information.

Ask how your child feels about growing up, rather than focusing only on physical changes. They may feel excited, embarrassed, uncertain or worried about fitting in. Listen without dismissing their concerns or assuming that every difficult feeling is “just hormones”. Taking their feelings seriously helps them feel comfortable seeking support.

Explain that bodies develop at different times and that comparisons with friends or people online can be misleading. Avoid teasing or commenting critically on weight, shape or physical development. Encourage your child to care for their body and speak about it respectfully. Make it clear that questions about their development are always welcome.

Use everyday situations to explain that everyone has the right to set boundaries and have those boundaries respected. Encourage your child to ask, listen and accept another person’s answer without pressure. Talk about how trust, equality, kindness and communication contribute to healthy relationships, both in person and online.

A television storyline, a school discussion or a question during a car trip can provide a natural opening. Ask questions such as, “What do you think about that?” or “What have you heard about this?” Listen first, then offer guidance. If you do not know an answer, say so and find reliable information together.

Talk calmly about how social media and pornography can present unrealistic ideas about bodies, sex and relationships. Explain that online content may leave out communication, care, consent and the everyday realities of intimacy. Encourage your child to question what they see and come to you if something leaves them confused or uncomfortable.

Growing independence often brings a greater need for privacy. Knock before entering your child’s room, allow privacy when dressing and avoid sharing details about their development with others without their agreement. Treat personal questions sensitively. Modelling these behaviours reinforces the respect for boundaries you are teaching them.

Avoid assumptions about who your child may be attracted to, how they feel about their body or whether they want a romantic relationship. Allow them to share their experiences at their own pace. Let them know they are valued and that questions about identity, feelings and relationships can be discussed without judgement.

Keep showing interest as your child’s experiences change. Ask what they are learning at school and whether anything needs further explanation. Help them identify other trusted adults they can approach, including school wellbeing staff, a counsellor or a health professional. Knowing there is more than one person available can make asking for help easier.